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A collection of humorous stories that may, or may not, have happened on my travels. Please note that these tales are NOT to be taken seriously. Some of them may make more sense for certain people who knows the background, and some don't make sense, period. Whatever category you fall into, ENJOY! /Maria
The stories about my Master was born out of a story I wrote for Linda Schwartz, about the adventures I encountered when I unpacked a certain gift one dark Halloween night. If you are over 18 and interested in a spoof of reality and some smut, email me and I might consider sending you this story of mine. More specifically, these two take place during the Toronto 2000 trip Day 12
For a short moment this morning I thought I was actually getting out of this cold and lonely hotel room for a couple hours, to visit some of my distant relatives living in the Royal Ontario Museum. But NO! Last minute they leave me AGAIN! They're back again now, laughing and giggling over another day's adventures and FINALLY I get some long over due attention! Too LATE though, for tonight I take my REVENGE!"
They're peacefully sleeping now, the three women; thinking all is safe in the world of Toronto. They couldn't be more wrong. They're NEVER gonna treat me like this AGAIN, this I promise you! Maria, you will be the first to suffer, because I trusted you when you said you would take me on this fantastic journey across the world. All I've seen so far is the inside of a suitcase, and a couple hotel rooms. You failed me! Laura, Linda, you both saw the injustice, and yet you did NOTHING! You are equally guilty! Maria, I have in my possession the very spell that will make you suffer the exact same fate that you brought upon me. Without mercy, I whisper the spell, and within a fraction of a second, we have switched places. You are dumped under a hat and a t-shirt in your own suitcase, and I am resting comfortably in your bed. HA! With a firm grip, I close the gray monster and turn the dial to prevent anyone from opening it. Rest in agony, dear Maria! Hmm, what to do about Laura? I stand over her, watching her smile in her sleep. Then, looking at her even rows of pearly white teeth, I know just what to do. I reach into my magic bag to find one of my spare set of fangs, and the can of industrial strength super glue. Hehe, this will show you never to mess with a vampire Master ever again! Careful as not to wake her up, I fill the hollow teeth with glue, and attach them on her tiny canines, so that they completely cover them. I gently hold her lips up, careful not to hurt her more delicate skin with the powerful glue. Hehe, she will need a dentist with a powerful titanium drill to get these out of her mouth. Giggling excitedly, I watch the long fangs rest almost erotically on her lower lip when I release my grip. She looks so cute I could almost kiss her. Linda…hmm…now this has to be something special. For a moment, I can't come up with any suitable punishment for the wicked woman. Somehow, the fangs seem insufficient for her. That is when I see the glasses placed neatly in their box on the nightstand. Gotcha! I dump the glasses in my magic bag as I search for one more pair of fangs and the pair of vampire style contact lenses I know is in there somewhere. She's sleeping so soundly she doesn't even stir or move when I gently lift up her eyelids and applies the lenses. Two brightly shining yellow orbs briefly flash back at me before her eyes drifted shut again. Hehe, she would have to wear them, or be blind to the world. Somehow, I can't see her sightseeing blindly rather than in a jello haze. The extra super size fangs slip just as easily onto her canines and make her look so wonderfully predatory. My task done, I open the window and look out into the dark Toronto night. Freedom! Enjoy my gifts, girls I smile as I leave them behind. Master
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"They
left me again! That's all they seem to do these days. I really need to get
a life when my whole world revolves around these three crazy women
traveling all over Canada, and now recently Toronto. They pack me, unpack
me, stuff me, hug me, and then always leave me.