Lyrics with a Fan Twist

You can't have my love - Elvis Einstein
I Want Tom - Kris Podder
Shakin' - Weird El Yankovic
Ring - too embarrassed to say
Sunday - JJ and the Tone Deafs
Gawk - Kris Plotter and his band, the Conspiracy Theories
Chris is Supreme - Scott and Janis Joplin

You can't have my love
by  Elvis Einstein
(with some help from JG and the dance troupe, Molecular Motion)
aka JG

You can lay your eyes on me.
Wish I was your own hubby.
But you can't have my love.
You can't have my love.

You wouldn't be a suffering wife
if this hunk were in your life.
But you can't have my love.
You can't have my love.

After all that we've been through.
All 4 seasons of Kung Fu.
Still you'd wait for half a lifetime
to hear if my Silk contract will renew.

You could wear a wedding ring.
Tell your friends Tom's your new thing.
But you can't have my love.
You can't have my love.

Dream about your boyfriend Chris.
On his lips, you plant a kiss.
But you can't have my love.
You can't have my love.

Everyone's got a favorite, few compare to me.
Watching me do my dance makes you weak in the knees.
You wish I'd do it more often.
With complementary colors, my Silk wardrope is vivid and bright.
But I look damn good in faded jeans.
The picture is pretty, and that's because I'm that way.

I Want Tom
by Kris Podder
aka JG

Well weekdays start out every day
with Pop and Peter, reruns of Kung FU.
But I'd trade those shaolins in a minute
if instead it was New Silk that I could view.

The drooling only stops when I
Go blind, pass out, or Cassy's face I spy.
Cause all I'm thinking day and night
Is that it's time for me to worship this great guy.

That's why
I want Tom, hot Tom.
I need Tom, breed Tom.
I want Tom to make me feel the way I feel.

Now I have seen the pleasure of this man
that women try to woo.
Just knowing he's divorced too
makes me want him even more because he'll say "I do".

Well I've been rendered helpless with longing
for Tommy's love so many times.
But something 'bout him, ladies.
Makes me play his dancing scene until the day I die.

Shakin' !
by Weird El Yankovic
aka Elise

Owow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow...
(insert killer guitar rift here)

Help me I can't breathe my heart just burst at the seams
He's the most amazing man that I've ever seen
Now I'm shakin'
ooooo I can't stop shakin'
Perfect Potter equation
Na na na now I can't stop shakin'

His muscles thrill me like a shot in a vein
I'm in love, love, love, love
I'm shakin' again

His eyes his lips his voice it's so many things
He's making me dream about an extra-marital fling
Now I'm shakin' perfect Potter equation

The way he moves sends me all over again
I'm in love, love, love, love...

Nobody help me can't ya see it's just a great reaction
To this Kung Fu attraction
But I sit here shakin' while he's up there in reruns on tape

I don't like flyin' but for FuFest I'll skip the train
I'm in love, love, love, love
I'm shakin' again!

Ring
by someone too embarrassed to say

Ten thousand hours in front of the TV set
Fans so true, you get us through
A ray of sun that's what we see in you
Our thoughts are always on you.

We know you're someone we'll never have
Still watching you gives us brighter days
Several years have passed now since we first
saw you
Still we have nothing bad to say

We have nothing but love for you
All our admiration and good wishes too
All that we are is a hope and a promise
That we, we'll always love you

And all our lives have been enriched and
enhanced by you
And we hope you'll always know
We have nothing but love for you.

When the day is done, we dream about you
Your smile so bright, it lights our nights
We just smile and say we love you
You'll always have our hearts.

Sunday
by JJ and the Tone Deafs
aka Julie

The reruns of Kung Fu start promptly at five p.m.
His blue jeans and leather are working their magic again
On Wednesday I'm checking my tapes out to make sure they're fine
By Thursday I work fast to get home and record on time

I'll tell ya what I'm doing
On Saturday I'm probably tight
Surfing through the channels of my cable tv
Longing again for Friday night
I've already made plans
I'm watching Kung Fu with my friends
And I'm counting down the minutes
'Til I see him again

But on Sunday I I I...
Set Peter free to fly
So I can watch that other guy on the weekend!

Stresssssed! On Saturday night
Trying to keep this little fixation out of my mind
Imagine my surprise, when I come to realize
Tomorrow, there's new SS!
I'm higher than a satellite

Come on Come on Come on tell the truth
Come on Come on Come on tell the truth
You got a

Problem! Some may say
But I'm just trying to handle pressure
Of living in the grip of CP
But if you'll kindly watch my tape
You'll see why I cannot escape
And maybe catch a couple eps when no one's looking
On your own new tape

Gawk
by  Kris Plotter and his band, the Conspiracy Theories
aka JG

When the man is at his best
He's got my pulse rate up and I'm breathing fast.
I got a flash of blissfulness
Got a droolin' urge with a pervert's romance
I'm forced to fantasize
Is it Tom in in love with me tonight?
Well, I'm forced to visualize, I'm forced!

When I gawk
I gawk at Tom.
I want to squawk
"This guy is the bomb"!

I've been known before
to lose control, my knees feel weakness.
And lately I've been told
I'm going nuts with Potter sickness.
I watch for signs of Tom
I try to keep him for myself
Well, I try to fend off other mates.

Chris is Supreme
by Scott and Janis Joplin

A relief from trying times
when I stare at his mug -- it's so fine! Chris is supreme!

Riding high, an endless crave --
Need this so-sexy hunk to get by. Chris is supreme!

Watching all of the time, I am --
I can't stop to tie my own shoes.
But the gleam is in his eyes,
And he's dancing shirtless too.

Some behind! The best of ends!
What I care to embrace is this guy. Chris is supreme!

He's so much! Feeling bliss.
Eyes are locked on the screen, and my mind thinks "Chris is supreme!".

And I've never seen better now -- how lucky is his own wife.
We can feel what she must feel
Because Chris is so supreme!